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someone once explained the difference between death metal and black metal to me as: "death metal is mean, but black metal is evil." well, in the same way, if you asked me what's the difference between four-loko and malt liquor, i would tell you: malt liquor will get you drunk, but four loko will make you fun.

you literally become a better person. all your awkwardness is smoothed out by the alcohol, but the caffeine keeps you alert enough to express yourself with some coherence

for example:


(860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless.

the caffeine hits you early in the morning so you can start your hangover early

with four loko, the hangover is Guaranteed. the best way to treat it is with hair of the dog.

it's a good thing you don't have to worry about fetal alcohol syndrome immediately after conception, because the likelihood of unprotected sex and the intensity of the drunk are a winning combo.

uppers make you feel good, and if you feel good, you can't tell that you're about to vomit.

Joose is disgusting. or as whitney houston said, i don't do crack. all right. crack is for poor people.

it is a speedball

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